DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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