I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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