Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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