ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
