babies were throwing up all over the place
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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