You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
