I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
