dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
