My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
