I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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