True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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