dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
