i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
