It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
