Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
