i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
