I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
