everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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