I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
