Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
