I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
