I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize