cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Shame - the story of my life.
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