My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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