my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
is it fun? or sober?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
