I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You're a waste of cheezeits
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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