You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
