Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
