I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
honey bunches of taint.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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