Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
