And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
did i walk over a car last night?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
