Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
