I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
ttyl tear gas
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he had hair everywhere except his balls
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
