fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
try to milk me bitch
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