Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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