You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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