Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
