His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
