Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
