God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
