i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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