did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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