we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
