Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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