They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
