Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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