i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
