someone threw a dead crab at me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize