Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
