dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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