I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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