I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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