i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
a search helicopter?!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Drake has all the answers
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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