I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I didn't notice because vodka
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
