you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
