There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
