just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
