All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
