Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
