so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
