now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
