I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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